Who was home? (She was home!) Who was home? (She was home!)
Thirty ladies, thirty dishes, thirty alibis
Tuna bake, green bean, ambrosia, and a pie
Who was home? (She was home!) Who was home? (She was home!)
Sheriff asks the question, and the pews all say the same
"Honey, she was with us, and she wouldn't know his name!" (Hey!)

Deputy comes knocking on a Tuesday with a notebook
Wants to know where I was when the husband took a look
At the water and the gator and the creek behind the lot
I said, "Deputy, I was baking, and you know the church does not
Let a woman out of sight with a pan of mac and cheese
Ask the Baptist Ladies' Auxiliary, they'll tell you with ease"
Miss Loretta swears she saw me at the sink at half past nine
Miss Pearl swears she tasted proof, and the proof was fine
Cousin Bobbie-Jean's a notary, she'll stamp it if you plead
Aunt Jolene's got a ledger, and the ledger's guaranteed
A woman with a casserole's got armor on her arm
Ain't a jury in the county dares to question my charm

Here comes the Tupperware squad, covered dishes at the door
Three (three!), two (two!)
One...
Dinner!

Who was home? (She was home!) Who was home? (She was home!)
Forty foil pans stacked up on the stoop
Deputy's got cobbler in his hat and a loop
Who was home? (She was home!) Who was home? (She was home!)
Sheriff takes a bite and he's forgetting why he's here
Mac and cheese diplomacy, the guilty disappear! (Ha!)

Next day, here's the sheriff with a cooler and a frown
Wants to see the kitchen where the evidence went down
I handed him a plate of peach cobbler with a smile
Forty minutes later, he was done with all the trial
Said, "Ma'am, I'm sure it's nothing, probably a cold case"
I said, "Sheriff, you're a gentleman, take the Tupperware, and pace"
Every church in Kudzu County is a courtroom with a stove
Every pew's a witness, and every witness drove
Man left on a Thursday, nobody asked why
Funny how a husband disappears and the pie stays high
I don't cook, I don't kill, I just coordinate the swarm
A hundred hungry grandmas keep the county warm

Who had the pie?
(She had the pie!)
Who didn't lie?
(She didn't lie!)
Who ain't never left the church?
(She never left, and she won't lie!)

Who was home? (She was home!) Who was home? (She was home!)
Thirty ladies, thirty dishes, thirty alibis
Tuna bake, green bean, and a ham that said goodbye
Who was home? (She was home!) Who was home? (She was home!)
Sheriff asks again, and the pews all say the same
"Honey, she was with us, and we're sticking to the game!" (Hey!)

Y'all come back now!