Kudzu! (Don't ask!) Kudzu! (Don't ask!)
Foot a day up the pole, now the pole is a tree
Foot a day up your truck, now the truck is me
Kudzu! (Don't ask!) Kudzu! (Don't ask!)
Can't outrun it, can't outpray it, can't outvote the vine
Stomp, stomp, clap, it's growing down the line (Hey!)

Boots on the gravel and the gravel starts crawling
Mailbox is mumbling, "Ma'am, I think I'm falling"
Water tower waving a white flag, hollow
Wrapped like a mummy while the vines keep swallowing
Banker rolled up in a Buick and a bolo
Left on a stretcher wrapped up like a burrito
Sheriff said, "Slow down!" I said, "Sheriff, I'm a foot a day"
You can't write a ticket to the weather, baby, hey!
Preacher said, "The meek shall inherit the earth"
I said, "Amen, I'm the meek, here's the dirt"
Barbed wire fence? Cute. Barbed wire? Snack.
Rust is just a flavor, and I'm coming back

Hands on the wheel, boots on the floor
Three (three!), two (two!)
One...
Kudzu!

Kudzu! (Don't ask!) Kudzu! (Don't ask!)
Up the steeple, down the well, through the Waffle House door
Ordered hash browns, smothered, covered, kudzu wants more
Kudzu! (Don't ask!) Kudzu! (Don't ask!)
Climb the water tower, wave at the moon
Stomp, stomp, clap, I'll be in your living room soon (Hey!)

Four a.m. Waffle House, I walk in like a tide
Booth by the window, vines already inside
Cook drops the spatula, waitress hits the floor
Jukebox plays banjo, and the grill won't take no more
Cousin's in the county jail, says, "Girl, don't you quit"
I said, "Cousin, I'm the county, I just haven't covered it"
Deer stand on the hilltop, I'm the antler and the aim
Church fan in my left hand, in my right, a flame
Every fence you built me is a ladder to the sun
Every "no" you gave me is a seed, and the seed's begun
Say a prayer, say it loud, say it twice, say it clean
Kudzu's got your steeple by the throat, and it's green

Count to three, county
One (one!), two (two!)
Third one ain't a number, it's a vine coming through!

Kudzu! (Don't ask!) Kudzu! (Don't ask!)
Off the sign, off the ballot, off the deed, off the frame
Whole county's wearing green and it answers to my name
Kudzu! (Don't ask!) Kudzu! (Don't ask!)
Can't outrun it, can't outpray it, can't outvote the vine
Stomp, stomp, clap, it's already on the line (Hey!)

Kudzu!